Notes

Firstly we would like to thank, Rabbi Hall and Pastor Burnett, for leading today's service. We would also like to thank all the kind people who have helped both Mum and her family. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

David and I would like to tell you about our mother Shirley ...

Mum was born before the war in Willesden to a Jewish family. She had a younger sister Lindsay and an elder brother Rodney who died before Shirley was born.

Mum could be rebellious and as a child, she once decided that she didn't like her bedroom because of a cracked window pane. Whilst her parents were out, she and Lindsay swapped furniture between the bedroom and the living room. Of course, when their parents returned home they were not at all happy so they had to change it back again.

Shirley soon met our father Ken not far from here in a Golders Green dance hall. Soon after they first met Mum saw Dad from the top floor of her bus, so she jumped off and deliberately bumped into him pretending it was an accidental meeting but Dad never knew!

Mum and Dad were well suited as they both liked Jazz clubs, dancing and smart clothes. They often spent many a romantic evening at the pictures, with Mum's 11-year-old sister Lindsay in tow who always insisted on sitting in the middle.

When her parents decided to move to Dunstable, Mum rebelled and set up a flat with her friend Denise when she was 17. She travelled every weekend back to Dunstable, to enjoy the luxuries of their bath. Her kind-hearted parents would both give her money, saying, "Take this, don't tell your Dad" and "Take this, don't tell your Mum".

Ken & Shirley married in 1959, a little while after she started working for the Bank of India and then Handley Page where she was secretary to Sir Handley Page himself. Mum gave up work after we were born,

Once my brother and I had both reached school age, Mum started work again but only part-time so that she could spend as much time with us as possible.

For a short while, Dad was out of work. Mum was very strong and made many sacrifices to steer our family through these difficult times. When the rent man called we remember hiding behind the sofa with Mum pretending to be out.

Mum was school secretary at Princess Frederica Primary School and later at Chalkhill Primary School. This allowed her to be at home with us during the school holidays. We have many happy memories, of all day, swimming at Kingsbury open-air pool, Willesden Swimming pool, Butlins at Bognor Regis, holidays in Uncle Brian's drafty flat in Hove & Sunday afternoon trips to buy ice cream from our favourite shop in Childs Hill. Whilst at Chalkhill School Mum gave the headmaster Kenneth Rudge - a budding author - the idea for one of his children's books, a story about a teenager going to a big open-air music festival, just like the famous Reading Music Festival that Mum used to help to organise.

For years Mum worked at the celebrated Marquee Club, London's version of the Cavern. When she started there it was a Soho Jazz club. As time changed this small venue became a rock club. Almost all the major bands played there, Thin Lizzy, The Who, Genesis, The Jam & many more. Mum also saw the birth of Punk, and later the likes of Tom Robinson and Adam Ant.

When we were younger Mum took us to see our favourite band - Slade at the Marquee. Mum even got us into their dressing room. Our young impressionable minds were horrified as Mum took us down Wardour Street, taking time to say hello to the strip club's bouncers.

Just like at home in Kingsbury, it seemed like everyone in Soho knew her. That was Mum, she liked good food, music and going out, but most of all she LOVED people.

We often thought that our family was lucky to have so many good friends. It wasn't luck it was because of Mum. People saw her special kindness, friendship, good humour and her special zest for life. Mum would find time to talk to people. She put people at ease and let them know that they were important to her. We remember her many good deeds like putting up a friend of mine whose house had been damaged in a fire. Mum and Dad often told us "You can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends".

When we were older, Mum returned to full-time work as a Personal Assistant to Brent's Director of Housing. She eventually went on to become a Principal Homeless Persons Officer. This brought out the best in Mum, so many different people to mix with.

Shirley and Ken had a long and happy marriage and made many close friends. We remember countless long and happy dinner parties held at our home. As they grew older together they enjoyed many happy foreign holidays. Sadly their marriage was cut short by Dad's sudden death in 1987, five weeks before their 28th Anniversary.

In time Mum met Anton, whilst visiting a good friend in Jamaica. They were married in 1991, and have been together ever since. Mum had a few happy years of retirement living an easy & relaxed life in the Caribbean. Mum lived in Jamaica with Anton for about five years. She made many more good friends there.

Mum dearly loved Anton She was also devoted to Anton's son, Shane and brought him up as her own. Despite the pain she suffered every day, she continued to look after Shane and helped him to settle into his new school. We can see all the good things that she taught us, in Shane. Shane will miss her terribly.

In her last days, David had the pleasure of telling Mum that Michelle was pregnant. Mum was delighted to hear that her third grandchild was on the way and told everyone who visited her. David's good friend Lee then told her about his forthcoming marriage. Quick as a flash Mum quipped "About bloody time!" Even in her last few days, she made friends with nurses and cleaners at the hospital and told everyone that she was determined to "make this a short stay".

We are all richer for having known Shirley. She has shown so many people that life isn't about money or things, or who you are. It is about family, people, friendship, and love.

Shirley's epitaph is not in the words that I am now reading or those that will be placed on her plaque but is written in the hearts of the many many people who experienced her love, kindness and humour.

I leave you with the words that Shirley used after both her sons were married off. These words are as appropriate now as they were then ...

"Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, I am free at last".

At which period we left Wales and came to my uncle's house in Albemarle Street, where he told my mother he should follow in less than 2 months; make a new will, and leave poor Fiddle 10,000. … I fancy some rough words passed concerning this by my uncle certainly but ill-brooked my father's pride, and he still less willingly endured being informed that, if his quality friends would provide him some distant establishment, my mother and myself should share the old baronet's fortune.

Henrietta’s Death however was inevitable; She came home with a slight glandular Swelling in her Neck which was succeeded by the Measles & Hooping Cough: these united fell very heavy on an Infant so tender, & falling on her Lungs particularly, produced an Abscess which was the immediate Cause of her Death.;.